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You’d be surprised at how many of the people running early-stage businesses have no idea why they are doing it.  No, really. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe they had one of those sly after-hours drinks with a fair-sized client and picked up the vibe that they might support a breakaway from the big-ass agency that’s currently rinsing them out of a gazillion Euros a month. Or a couple of you had an epiphany in Le Pain Quotidien, sitting with all the other wannabe entrepreneurs in the back corner where the free Wi-Fi is strong and there are wall sockets within reach.

When you’re trying to dig a promising small business out of a hole, or steering another through a problematic growth-spurt, the first question to ask – always, without exception – is: why are you doing this? What is your personal motivation? You can have as many grand business visions and BHAGs as you like, but if they’re not aligned with what you want and where you want to get to in your life…then it’s unlikely to end well.

And of course, in so many entrepreneurial businesses, that ‘you’ is plural. At the heart of the enterprise sits that most unnatural phenomenon: Partners.

Which is where it really gets interesting; because now you’re dealing with two or more people who may well not know why, fundamentally, they’re in this business. Or one person who does and one or more others who don’t. The mentoring task – whether you are a CEO, non-exec or external advisor – is then twofold; first you need to get each owner to produce a statement of their personal goals, what they want from running and, in particular growing, the business. Secondly, you need to engineer and facilitate a ‘truth session’ where everyone puts their cards on the table. Again, you’d be surprised at how many sets of founders have never done this. Perhaps there’s a fear – sometimes justified – that what gets revealed might be explosive.

Two examples from the past twelve months; two small successful niche agencies, two founders apiece. Each had one partner with a family, committed to staying in the city where the business was based; each had another who wanted to make a major geographical move in the next couple of years and radically shift the way they worked. One was based in a regional British city; the other in a European capital; geography offers nowhere to hide from life-stage dilemmas.

In one the agendas were out in the open; in the other they simmered. One set of founders had a grown-up dialogue about their divergent life-plans, the others niggled and nagged at each other without quite knowing why. The Brits transferred responsibilities ahead of the shift and effected a managed transition; their European counterparts split fractiously and, in the process, shattered the business.

The learning is; it’s hard to say what you want from growing your business if you don’t know what you want from your life. And if there are more than one of ‘you’, you need to start sharing those highly personal agendas  – now.

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